You're HUGE!

Please don't say this to pregnant ladies. It isn't always what we want to hear. Yesterday the clerk at a local store told me that I must be due tomorrow because I was so big. Then she continued to inform me that she looked like me at 8 and 1/2 months. As I tried to pay for my granola bar*, she went on with, "are you sure you aren't having two?" As I tried not to cry, she let me know, based on what I am sure is advanced medical training, that my baby was too big.

So please, don't say "you're huge." Especially if you want repeat business from your customers.

*notice I wasn't buying a snickers or a pint of ice cream. I was buying an f-ing granola bar.

Top three questions and answers*

1. (Tie) When are you due? October 3
1. (Tie) Do you know what you are having? A girl, very exciting.
2. Are you giving birth at CPMC (California Pacific Medical Center)? A: NO and please don't judge me for it.
3. When are you leaving work on your maternity leave? A: Technically it is disability leave, and I don't know.

These questions don't bother me except for #2. First of all, why is that such a popular question? It comes off as very snotty - smacks of the idea that if you live in SF but don't give birth at CPMC your child is already behind. Or you don't love her enough. Like now I might as well just send her off to the Ecuadorian prison.

Apologies to those who have asked with my interests at heart.

*I know this is actually 4 questions given the tie.

Nursery Pictures - cozier than an Ecuadorian prison

Not pretty

I do not look pretty in this picture, but at least I am not in an Ecuadorian prison. Yet.... And yes, unsuprisingly my belly is not tan.

Where's the Ecuadorian prisoner in this picture?

Hint - the prisoner is not me, or the little girl that has been growing in my ever expanding belly for the past 29 weeks. The prisoner is on the television - the woman shown is in an Ecuadorian prison for being a drug mule. Never too early to start the child with "just say no."